BREAKING: Tim Michels Reveals Priorities As Governor: Text Aaron Rodgers

Oct 24, 2022

BREAKING: Tim Michels Reveals Priorities As Governor: Text Aaron Rodgers

MADISON, Wis. — With 15 days until voters head to the polls to vote in the midterm election, Tim Michels seems to be focused on everything except the issues that matter most to Wisconsinites.

During a campaign event last week, Michels gossiped about Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’ close relationship with Tampa Bay quarterback Tom Brady, admitting that DeSantis spent time texting with Brady after the two radical politicians campaigned together in Green Bay last month.

Do we detect some jealousy, Tim?

Instead of providing clear details on his radical platform, which includes opposing common sense gun safety reforms, arresting doctors who perform abortions, and enacting a flat tax that would disproportionately benefit wealthy taxpayers like himself, Michels went on to say that he hopes he can text with Aaron Rodgers if he becomes governor.

Michels’ pitch to the Packers’ quarterback is his latest attempt to prove he’s a real Wisconsinite after spending ten years living on the east coast. Unfortunately for Michels, his Connecticut mansion and out-of-touch agenda tell a different story. And also, real Wisconsinites wear the right color to a Packers game.

“It makes sense that Tim Michels would want to connect with the Packers’ star player,” said Democratic Party of Wisconsin spokesperson Hannah Menchhoff. “After all, it’s not like Connecticut has an NFL team. Now, we don’t want to tell Michels how to run a campaign, but perhaps he should focus on the issues instead of getting a selfie with Aaron Rodgers.”