Better on the Big Screen – Senator Johnson’s Vision for Wisconsin’s Future

Aug 24, 2016

Senator Johnson laid out a bold vision last week when he suggested that all students needed to succeed in the classroom were videos. Who needs qualified teachers anyway? The proposal has been praised by VCR distributors around the world. So why stop with the classroom? Here’s a look at the other institutions Senator Johnson likely wants to replace:

  • Badger sports: With opening day less than two weeks away, Senator Johnson wants to fire coach Paul Chryst and replace him with a video loop of Vince Lombardi quotes. As for basketball, Greg Gard will be replaced by footage from the 1992 men’s olympic basketball team. Inspiring!

  • The UW system: Why have 26 campuses around the state to educate 180,000 students? Hogwash! Instead Senator Johnson intends to replace the system and give students videos from Trump University. Trust us, a lot of people are talking about how great these videos are. The best.

  • His presence in Wisconsin: Senator Johnson is sick of having to visit Wisconsin. He’s doesn’t have time to meet with voters, he has corporations to protect! So he plans to stay in Washington where he’s more comfortable. But don’t worry: he’s taken a page from the playbook of his cable news friends. Wisconsinites can chat with Sen. Johnson live via hologram!

  • Wisconsin manufacturing jobs: This isn’t a new proposal. But Senator Johnson continues to support tax breaks that help companies replace well paying Wisconsin jobs with lower paying jobs overseas. It’s called creative destruction.

“Senator Johnson seems to have taken the adage that everything is better on the big screen to a whole new level. But Wisconsinites want the real deal, whether it’s in the classroom or the United States Senate,” said Harry Hartfield spokesman for the Democratic Party of Wisconsin.